Saturday 12 April 2014

God's Manifesto

It's been a tough decision, because It will be a big commitment in terms of time, and emotional capital, and I know it's a really hard job, but after due consideration, I have decided to throw my hat in the ring and challenge God in the upcoming election. 

Firstly, I'd like to pay tribute to God: there's no doubt that he has achieved a LOT in his 13 Billion Year term of office. It's true to say, I wouldn't be here today, if it weren't for Him. His followers have achieved some great successes in terms of human freedoms, but, they now appear tired and insular. Time for a change! 

Vote for me, and I will, with a clap of thunder and a rainbow, change the world. 

My Manifesto

1. An end to all suffering. Any human being found thinking a single unloving thought will be immediately commited to purgatory for a period of eternity.
2. An end to war. Any human being harbouring violence will immediately be commited to purgatory for a period of eternity.
3. An end to discrimination on any grounds. Any human being found putting his/ her own preferment before her/his make/female/straight/gay/enabled/disabled neighbour,  will be immediately commited to .. Well you get the picture.
4. Expansion of the realm of purgatory to accommodate the entire human race. 

I am having second thoughts about this. I have been God for less than two seconds and it appears I have lost ALL my worshippers. 

Ah well! Being a granny is far more fun anyway. Come on Aowl, let's go to the park! 







No comments:

Post a Comment